do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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