How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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