i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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