Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
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I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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