You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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