there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
