One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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