those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
