Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
