Pregnant stripper...not hot.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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