I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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