he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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