hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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