My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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