Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize