i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
