You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize