Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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