There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
