I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
