Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
