so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize