i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
