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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I am a bulletproof tiger!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You might as well just give her the money now.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM

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• 

  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians

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• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night

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