DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
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How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
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'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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