i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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