it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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