billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
