I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
