yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The ass gains better be worth it
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