We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
