Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
