Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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