I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
