I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
