So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
