And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
