thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
