I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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