I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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