My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
