I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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