Taylor Swift is so right about you.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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