It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
