they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
