I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
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