Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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