I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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