how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize