this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
