doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
