FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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