Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
