well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
