if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize