Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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