I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
ttyl tear gas
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
