I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
