you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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