nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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