dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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