i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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